B-Cide – My Pain (CD)

Description

This album came out in 2022 on Utica Grind Records / 55 Strong, and this one sits in a very specific, heavy place in my timeline. At this point, I was still doing exactly what I had always done—making music because it was the only thing I knew how to do—but there was no joy in it anymore. No direction. No bigger picture. Just motion.

I wasn’t writing my book yet. I wasn’t thinking about purpose, legacy, or rebuilding anything. I was still depressed, emotionally numb, and dragging myself through life. The MS was already there, but instead of facing it or processing it, I was just existing. That’s what My Pain sounds like. It’s detached. It’s cold. It’s honest, but it’s not hopeful.

There are moments of strength and moments of clarity, but they’re buried under exhaustion. This album isn’t performative emotion—it’s what happens when you’ve been in survival mode for too long. I wasn’t angry like I was during the Bobby DeNiro era. I wasn’t inspired either. I was just tired.

Even with that, the features on this project were strong. Dr. X shows up on one of the most aggressive tracks, and Krizz Kaliko, formerly of Strange Music, delivers one of the most meaningful moments on the album. Looking back now, My Pain feels like the last release before everything finally broke open and forced change.

This album documents the end of autopilot. The final stretch before I stopped just “doing” and started asking why.

Tracklist

1. I’m Sick

2. Wat U Mean (feat. Kurupt)

3. The Industry

4. Smoke in the Sky

5. Story 2 Tell

6. The Drop

7. Force Flex (feat. Dr. X)

8. Learn to Live (feat. Krizz Kaliko)